Catechumen finds hope for salvation in his baptism

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Chris Evans

A random internet search last fall for information on the Catholic Church ultimately led Chris Evans to what he has most yearned for in his life: joy and hope. On Saturday at the Easter Vigil, Evans will be baptized into the Catholic Church by Father Stephen Tilley at St. John the Baptist Catholic Church.

It’s a very different path than the retired firefighter could see for himself last September. Then, overwhelmed by health challenges, the death of a co-worker and other trials, Evans felt lost and surrounded by a darkness so profound it led him to contemplate suicide. One night he found himself with a gun in his hand thinking it was the only way to end his pain.

“I felt myself in a really dark place,” he said. “Things just felt like they were spiraling out of control, like I was losing what mattered, what was important to me. It was just a hopeless feeling: I felt like it wasn’t going to change and maybe it would even get worse.”

Somehow Evans turned aside from suicide and reached out to medical professionals for help, but within a short time “I felt like I was putting a Band-Aid on it; I wasn’t resolving the underlying problem,” he said.

Then seemingly out of nowhere, he decided to Google the Catholic Church.

“I felt like maybe I needed to learn more, to establish or build or strengthen my relationship with God and sort through that,” Evans said.

Once he started reading about the Church, he couldn’t stop, he said. The more he read, the more it spoke to him. “Everything I was reading, it just felt right,” he said.

So Evans sent emails to three local parishes enquiring about the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults process. Through that enquiry, Evans set up a meeting with Martha Happ, who coordinates the RCIA at St. John the Baptist Parish.

“After that meeting with Martha and spending time in the parish, I felt more calm and more at ease than I had in some time,” Evans said. “Every time I go to RCIA and spend time in the church at Mass or for some other activity, it just feels right for me. I just find peace there.”

Before enrolling in RCIA, religion hadn’t been a part of Evans’ life for more than 40 years. As a child he attended The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints with his mother, who was a member. He was baptized at the age of 9, but he fell away from that faith as a teenager. In 2015 he had his name removed from the LDS Church’s membership records.

“I had no plan to attend church or to seek information on a different faith or learn about anything else,” he said. “I just knew the LDS Church wasn’t right for me.”

Still, there was an unspoken yearning, a feeling that something was missing from his life. Once he began RCIA classes, Evans found what he had been looking for: a community, a purpose and a road to salvation.

At first he was impatient, wanting to be baptized immediately, he said. “Very early in that process I knew it was right for me, and I wanted to be baptized; I didn’t want to wait. Now I’m glad that the journey is what it is; it means so much more to me today than it would have last October or November.”

RCIA has given him a better understanding of the Church’s core beliefs and of the Sacrament of the Eucharist, he said. The process has been very emotional. “Frequently I find the tears streaming down my face with what is about to occur,” he said of his upcoming baptism.

As he contemplates the night when he had thought to end his life but instead turned away, Evans sees the hand of God in his journey. He doesn’t believe his internet search was as completely random as he first thought. He had once attended Mass with his ex-wife, and he had been impressed with the commitment and dedication to their faith shown by two Catholic friends she had introduced him to. This somehow guided him to search out the Church on the internet; he never looked any further.

These days the darkness has lifted. Although his faith journey has caused him to examine his conscience, he has been careful not to just focus on his mistakes, but to forgive himself and move forward.

“During that period in my life, I had tunnel vision; I can see that now,” he said. “I couldn’t see the good in my life or the good in my heart. What I could see at that time was my shortcomings and the sins I’ve committed. What I’ve come to learn is I have to find a way to forgive myself. I’ve come to learn that with God’s grace I’ve already been forgiven.”

The preparation for his baptism has been very powerful and healing, he said. He also understands that baptism is the beginning, not the end, of his faith journey.

“I know that baptism alone is not going to give me salvation,” he said. “It is baptism combined with faith in Christ and repentance, service to others; it takes more than baptism. What I hope to gain from it is to receive the Holy Spirit, forgiveness for my sins, and an opportunity for spiritual rebirth, salvation and eternal life.”

As he takes this next step, Evans’ family will be by his side: His parents are traveling from Washington County to be at his baptism.

“I’ve taken a different path, but I’ve felt nothing but support from them,” he said. “‘It’s a personal thing, and it needs to be right for you,’ they say.”