Hospice helps families cope with illness and death

SANDY — "If I would have known about home care and hospice when my father became ill, it would have helped us so much and made his death easier to manage," said Silvia Lopez Buhl, a member of St. Thomas More Parish.

"People do not realize they do not have to wait until a loved one is dying before they seek the help of home care and hospice," said Buhl.

Two years following her father’s death, Buhl started working for Applegate Home Care and Hospice in community relations. She wants to help people so they do not have to go through what she and her family experienced. As a result, she organized a seminar at St. Thomas More Parish in May to help others learn about hospice and home care.

"People are often afraid to use the assistance of hospice and say they are not ready because they equate hospice with death," said Buhl. "My father became ill in October 2002, and was in and out of the hospital having various surgeries. Following his last surgery, he was released from a rehabilitation hospital to home care.

Buhl said the nurses took care of his wound and physical therapists would come in and work with him, but they never saw the nurse take his vital signs, or they would have known he was dying all along. Buhl’s father died in February 2003 of congestive heart failure.

"My brother, sister, and I had to do everything," said Buhl. "My father died at home, so we were not sure if we should call the mortuary or the paramedics. We called the mortuary. Without hospice, it was hard to know what to do and what to expect in terms of what is normal for a dying person and what is not normal. We did not know that if a patient was at home, hospice would have provided a hospital bed. That would have been so much more comfortable for my father. We set up a twin bed in the living room."

Buhl said it is overwhelming for family members to have to take care of a loved one who is ill especially when family members work outside the home and have children to care for. Even if you are not the one caring for the patient that day or week, you are still consumed with what is going on with him or her and wondering every time the phone rings if it is going to be news of the loved one’s death.

Buhl said it would have been easier emotionally if they would have sought the help of hospice. This was their first experience with death, and she and her family were confused, angry, depressed, and did not know what to do. Hospice would have provided a chaplain and social worker who would have talked with the family and directed them as to what they should do during the illness and following the death.

A year after her father’s death, Buhl was depressed and would often break down crying and she did not understand why. Her family physician told her she was in the process of grieving. Her grief was delayed because she was the one who had to be strong for the rest of her family and she had to take charge. Hospice assists family members with bereavement care up to one year following the death of a loved one.

Mike Limongello, a clinical social worker and chaplain with Applegate, is also a member of St. Thomas More Parish. He said Hospice is available for a person with a terminal illness. Under Medicare guidelines, terminal means six months to a year and a half. At that point, the goal is not to rehabilitate the person, but to make that person comfortable for the duration of his or her life.

"Hospice is a service available to everyone under Medicare," said Buhl. "The sad part is people do not find out about Hospice until they are in a crisis. Hospice helps patients and their families deal with life-limiting illnesses so they may live each day with comfort and dignity, and retain control over their lives."

Hospice provides palliative care services that are specialized for people with severe, chronic, or life-threatening illnesses, people affected by loss and grief, and anyone concerned about end-of-life issues. Palliative care focuses on relieving suffering while maximizing quality of life for patients and their families living with serious, chronic, or life-limiting illnesses.

Limongello said hospice provides a team of professionals including a medical director, registered nurse, certified nurse assistant to provide personal care, a social worker who supports the individual and family psychologically and emotionally, and a chaplain who provides spiritual support.

Medicare covers medical equipment such as a hospital bed, oxygen, and most medications at 100 percent.

"A doctor’s order is needed for hospice, but hospice is for all age groups including children, adults, and the elderly during their final stages of life, said Limongello. "Most of our patients are 65 or older. The patients are usually in their home, but they can be in a skilled nursing facility approved by Medicare. It is not easy to be at someone’s bed side when they die."