Pro-life means being pro-adoption, says advocate

Grace Dulaney

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Grace Dulaney is pictured with Father Frank Pavone, National Director of Priests for Life, at the 2014 Walk for Life in San Francisco. Courtesy photo/Grace Dulaney

HUNTSVILLE — By sharing her story, Grace Dulaney hopes to open the hearts and minds of people across the country to adoption.

Dulaney is a member of Saint James the Just Parish in Ogden. Twenty-one years ago she was divorced with two children and pregnant, she said. "I was struggling and I knew abortion wasn’t a solution; I also knew I couldn’t be a single mother and a father, too. I felt my baby deserved to be in a family with a mother and father and I knew I couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing my baby again. I also knew my two children needed to know that their sibling was growing up cared for by another family."

Dulaney placed her baby in an open adoption. "The choice of adoption is not for everyone," said Dulaney, who has since remarried and has two more children. She added that 96 percent of adoptions today are open; the degree varies in each case. "Open adoption does not mean co-parenting; it does mean the child will grow up knowing he or she is loved by both the adoptive and biological families."

Dulaney received pictures and letters and a few visits while her son was young, she said, adding that she always dreamed of the day she would have an adult visit with him.

Two years ago, she got that visit, she said, and it became the inspiration for Dulaney to establish maternity homes across the United States. She founded the Agnes Dei Foundation, which has a home in San Diego for young women in unplanned pregnancy situations.

She would like to establish a similar home in the Ogden area: a board of directors has already been formed, she said.

"Young women stay in the home free of charge; we are 100 percent reliant on private donations," Dulaney said. "The home would have a nurturing environment where girls could carry their babies to term and avoid abortion."

Statistics show that 70 percent of teenage pregnancies, 80 percent of prison inmate pregnancies and 90 percent of homeless population pregnancies are single-parent mothers, said Dulaney.

"On the other side of that are 2 million couples on waiting lists ready to adopt in the United States," Dulaney said. "Adoption heals women and needs to be offered, explained and even encouraged in unplanned pregnancies. Young girls are desperately looking for solutions and pro-life workers owe it to them to offer adoption as a positive solution."

Adoption today is not cloaked in shame and secrecy as it was years ago, she said. "I have often heard women say ‘I could never give my baby away, but I could have an abortion.’ People have also accused girls of being selfish for considering adoption."

The home for young women in San Diego "is filled with love and joy," said Dulaney. "House parents live in an apartment on the first floor and prepare dinner every night for the young women, who are able to see the interaction of the couple and what a marriage looks like. There is a program director to help the girls transition back into society, write resumes, get a job or go to school. We require the girls to work, go to school or do 20 hours of community service a week. We also have volunteers that come in to do activities, drive the girls to doctor appointments and teach them financial literacy."

Each bedroom in the home was adopted by a ministry and furnished, said Dulaney. "It’s been wonderful to see people contribute their time, talent and treasure to something concrete for a noncontroversial solution to a very controversial problem."

For information about Dulaney’s program, call 760-580-5753, graced@agnusdeifoundation.com or www.agnusdeifoundation.com.