Senior finds multi-generational living is just right

Intermountain Catholic

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Ana Uribe is surrounded by her ?instant family.? Uribe has taken on the role of another grandmother to the children, and she loves it. IC photo by Barbara S. Lee

OGDEN — In these days of tight budgets, families need to be resourceful and generous when it comes to meeting everyone’s needs.

Laura Heindl, 36, and her children, Josh, 13, and Gabriel "Gabby," 3, are grateful their aunt, Ana Uribe, a member of St. Joseph Parish, Ogden, is both resourceful and generous.

Uribe, a soft-spoken, nurturing woman, opened her house to Heindl and her children three years ago, when Heindl’s marriage fell apart, welcoming them into her home and creating, "my instant family."

"I lived with my mother all my life," said Uribe, who never married. "When she became ill, I retired from my job to care for her. I cared for Laura when she was a child and both her parents worked. So, when she called me to ask if they could come live with me for a while, naturally, I said yes."

Uribe’s mother had lived one day short of 100 years. Uribe lived alone in the house she’d bought with her mother for a year and a half after her mother’s death.

"I had my dog, but still, I felt there was something else I had to do. I believe this is it. I was meant to be a part of this family, and they were meant to be a part of me."

Laura said her Aunt Ana "has always been there for me. We lived just two blocks up the street, and my mother, her sister, lives just a couple of blocks away. We’re a very close family. If someone in the family needs something, all they have to do is call. It’s always been that way."

This family of four lives in a three-bedroom brick house. Laura shares a bedroom with Gabby, a big-eyed bundle of unbridled energy. Josh, the man of the house, is shy, but when he speaks, his words are well chosen, positive, and loving. He is patient with Gabby, carefully guiding her away from a living room table, every inch of which is covered with family photos.

Well into her sixties at the time, Uribe found herself getting used to the sound of Saturday morning cartoons and rock music. She made few adjustments to the house, but she did gate off the living room which is not child proof. There is also a car seat in her car, and Uribe put a television downstairs so when Laura and the children need some private time, she can give them their space.

In 2004, Laura began taking classes, and Uribe found herself diapering a toddler and shopping for toys.

"When I was living alone, I got used to leaving things around, but with the baby, I learned to be careful, and it took a while to adjust to the fact that Gabby likes to color on the walls. The biggest change, though, was that I had to learn to cook. When it’s just yourself, you don’t have to do much, but with growing children, it takes more."

Heindl, who recently had carpal tunnel surgery, said she never could have gone to school for nine months to prepare for a new job if it hadn’t been for her aunt.

"Now I’m ready to start my new job as a medical coder," she said. "It will give me a new future."

Josh, a student a South Ogden Junior High School, where his mother went to school, said he feels free to bring friends home to visit, and he appreciates it when Uribe baby-sits, allowing his mother to attend his basketball and baseball games.

"Gabby will begin attending pre-school in the fall," Heindl said with a smile. "That means Aunt Ana will be going through empty-nest syndrome."

Uribe feels strongly that the family should eat dinner together, and because Gabby has to be coaxed to eat, it means the whole family, even Josh, watches Disney during dinner.

Being a multi-generational family isn’t always easy, Uribe said. They negotiate for use of the computer that has the fastest internet line, and there are the inevitable clashes over use of the telephone. Laura’s cell phone has eased those tensions, though.

And there are worries. Uribe frets when Gabby becomes a nuisance to Josh and his friends.

"Even at 3, she’s a bit boy crazy," Uribe said.

"We’ve gotten used to each other," Heindl said. "We each have our own place of privacy, and we give each other plenty of space.

"Of course, Josh has had to grow up faster than most boys his age, because he takes care of Gabby a lot, and he helps us out whenever we need him."

Heindl said a part of her wants to have a home of her own eventually, "but I haven’t looked that far ahead."

As for Uribe, she recently got a call from another family member who needs her care. In early August she will fly to Oregon to care for a cousin who will be recovering from surgery.

"I just happened to become the family caretaker," she said. "It’s who I am."