Tragedy leads family on a Camino pilgrimage in Spain

Courtesy photo/George Starks

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George and Jane Starks stand outside the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela, the burial-place of Saint James the Greater, where pilgrims have come for thousands of years.

SALT LAKE CITY —Members of the Starks family traveled to Spain last year to walk the Camino de Santiago to Santiago de Compostela in Galicia, Spain following the death of their son and brother. This year, members of the family returned for a second pilgrimage to the site.

Michael Starks, 18, died of alcohol poisoning Nov. 21, 2008. He left a hole in the hearts of those who loved him "that can be matched only by the infinite amount of love he gave each of us during his lifetime," the obituary read.

Pilgrims have been walking along the Camino de Santiago for more than 1,000 years; Pope Benedict XVI visited Santiago de Compostela Nov. 6-7. According to legend, the apostle Saint James the Greater traveled widely on the Iberian Peninsula, bringing Christianity to the Celtic peoples. In 44 AD he was beheaded in Jerusalem and his remains were later brought back to Galicia, Spain and are entombed in the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela.

"Our daughter Mary said, ‘Everybody who goes says it’s life changing, and some day I want to go,’" said Jane Starks, Michael’s mother. "In December 2008 when we were sitting around the table as a family for Christmas mourning the loss of our son, Mary just blurted out, ‘I think our family should go on a Camino and try to find out what we are supposed to do now that our lives are shattered.’ We all thought that was a good idea, but I don’t think we believed the whole family could go. The amazing thing is everybody went but Mary."

Mary Starks is the only family member who speaks fluent Spanish, said her father, George; she had heard about the Camino while attending Carroll College in Montana and then again while attending college in Barcelona, Spain.

The Starks chose the French route of the Camino. In the fall of 2009, George, Jane and their son Georgie walked for three weeks before meeting the rest of the family.

"They say when you do the Camino, you actually receive an indulgence," Jane Starks said. "You really can’t describe it to anybody because it is so unique to everybody. The only thing you can say is it is life changing according to who you are and how open you are."

Jane Starks didn’t expect to revisit Spain so soon, but she and George returned last month. This time, they chose the primitive route that starts in Oviado.

"We walked two weeks for eight or nine hours each day carrying everything we brought and learned we were void of all the distractions," Jane Starks said. "I think in America we really allow unnecessary distractions in our lives every day. When you live the life of a humble, simple pilgrim day in and day out, you realize that. The alberques we stayed in are very humble, too. We stayed in a room of 30 men and women and didn’t have any say as to where we were going to sleep. We learned to trust God.

"As a family we learned that the Camino is within you and never leaves you," she added. "We’ve learned to recognize it as the silent dirt paths and endless roads we walked. We recognize it within us and we can find it whether we are in the middle of a workday or hiking somewhere in Utah. The Camino is tough; God will do a job on you when there are no distractions because you have to face your sins and other things you may not want to face."