How to pray for the dying and the dead

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Father Christopher Gra

Father Christopher Gray

Special to the Intermountain Catholic

The death of a loved one, whether expected or sudden, is always a time of profound disorientation. For us who believe in Christ and in the resurrection that awaits the baptized, it can also be a moment in which the expression of our faith in prayer anchors us to our departed brothers and sisters with a powerful bond. Prayer for the dead is an act of love without obvious reciprocation. This is a gift. Without the immediate consolation of affection in any normal human way, this act of love can become one of the most sublime works we could ever hope to accomplish.

However, in the moment it may not feel like that at all. Praying for the dead can feel desperate and confused, especially when we don’t have a habit of this kind of prayer. November, the month of the holy souls, is a particularly good time to pray for the dead, but it is also a reminder that we should always pray for the departed – not only our own beloved dead, but also all those who await the resurrection and especially those for whom nobody remembers to pray. If we have any confusion or fear in this kind of prayer, we are again presented with a gift: our emotions are a particularly good fuel for concentrating our prayer.

There are many ways to pray for the dead. Especially in the first week of November, the Church encourages us to visit cemeteries and pray, and offers a plenary indulgence for doing so; for further details, see the “Manual of Indulgences,” grant 29. (Editor’s note: The Vatican’s 1999 revised “Manual of Indulgences” was published in English in 2006 by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops.) The rosary is always a good choice for prayer, with its repetition and rhythm that so easily soothes. Liturgically, the Commemoration of the Faithful Departed is an excellent opportunity to pray for the dead in the Mass and in the Liturgy of the Hours in our churches.

But what else? There is a great wealth of prayers for the dying and the dead that can be of assistance whenever we need them. Priests carry a little book called The Pastoral Care of the Sick (1983) that has a wealth of prayers for those who are sick, near death, and who have died, aside from the ritual texts for the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick and others. This book is not just for priests, and I heartily recommend its presence in all our households; it is available through several Catholic bookstores as well as on Amazon. A bilingual, abridged version from 2007 that is also very accessible is available as well.

Also, the texts of the scriptural readings and the prayers used at Masses for the dead can also be a very welcome companion in prayer for the dead, especially as a focused lectio divina. I recommend Fr. Joseph Champlin’s compilation of these texts for anyone, not just for those planning a funeral; it is available at https://a.co/d/g70i8jC.

Whatever our habit of prayer for the dead, it always benefits from preparation for those times when our emotions are being challenged by the reality of mortality. St. Paul reminds us that we must “not grieve like the rest, who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose, so too will God, through Jesus, bring with him those who have fallen asleep” (1 Thess. 4:13b-14). We believe in the Resurrection, in mercy, and in the assistance of the angels and all the saints. We believe in eternal life not just in our minds, but for our whole selves, body and soul. This November, let us pray for the dead and carry them in our prayers, and continue to do so throughout the year.

Father Christopher Gray is pastor of Saint Mary of the Assumption Catholic Church in Park City.