Itamis' marriage began on a lucky day 38 years ago

Intermountain Catholic

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Jeff (left) and Linda Itami process into Our Lady of Lourdes chapel 38 years ago to be married by Father Phil Dahnken. Jeff planned this ceremony after seeing a wedding in Spain. Photo courtesy of Jeff and Linda Itami

SALT LAKE CITY — Jeff Itami is the romantic and artistic one in the family and Linda Itami is more pragmatic.

"I am the one who pays the bills and takes care of the taxes, and he is the one who spends the money on jewelry and art and things that make life worth living," said Linda Itami, who will be married 38 years in November. Jeff and Linda Itami are members of Saint Ambrose Parish, Salt Lake City.

Jeff and Linda were married Nov. 7, 1970. They chose that day because they had both spent time in Germany, although not together. Jeff had spent time in the military, and they were used to military dates which place the month before the day. They thought 7-11-70, was a pretty lucky day to be married, and it has proven to be true.

Jeff and Linda met at the University of Utah. Linda was a student and Jeff’s roommate was a student. They met through Jeff’s roommate.

Jeff was working as a technical illustrator at Ajax Presses. He had graduated with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in graphic design and illustration.

"I returned home from military service in 1966, and I got a job at Ajax Presses," said Jeff. "The guy who was my high school buddy, college buddy, and army buddy came back from Europe and we shared an apartment. While he was going to graduate school at the University of Utah, and since I did photography, he asked me to participate in the foreign language department’s "Little Plays of Alexander Pushkin."

"One of the German language students was this cute girl, Linda. I sat next to her," said Jeff. "We met in May of 1969, and things kind of moved along from there. There was no way I was going to let her go back to Connecticut. I wanted to keep her out here, and the only way was to marry her, of course. It kind of worked."

"I was at the University of Connecticut and I did my junior year abroad in Munich, Germany, which was popular to do at that time," said Linda. "Then I came to Utah and finished my degree in German and English. I also received my teaching certificate.

"We had an 18 month courtship before we were married," said Linda.

"She was getting close to graduating, so I knew I had to get things taken care of," said Jeff. "It was a pretty frightening move. It is a big step to ask someone to be with you the rest of your life. But she said yes.

"I wanted to do a Spanish wedding because when I was driving in Spain on vacation, I saw a little castle on the hill," said Jeff. "From the main highway, there was a procession along this little two-lane road with a guitarist in the front, two altar boys carrying the cross, then the priest, and then the couple with their families processing behind up to the castle to the church in the middle of the little medieval walled city. It was so beautiful, it stuck with me.

"So when we got married on a cold, kind of windy, drizzly November day, we decided to line up in the foyer of the church and process in," said Jeff. "It worked out beautifully. Linda wore a mantilla. Linda’s maid of honor was her friend Linda Crump. My best man was my brother."

Jeff and Linda were married at Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic Church in Salt Lake City by Father Phil Dahnken. They had a simple wedding reception at Crump’s home.

"It was a special time for us," said Linda.

"When I went to meet Linda’s family before we got married, we went to Tiffany’s in New York, where we bought our simple gold wedding bands," said Jeff. "It was a European custom. The movie "Breakfast at Tiffany’s" was the inspiration for that."

The Itami’s say the best thing about their marriage was attending Marriage Encounter four years to do day after they were married. It was the first one held in Utah, and was held two weekends in a row, Nov. 8-10, and Nov. 15-17. The priests were Father Louis A. Fisher, pastor of Saint Francis Xavier from 1980 to 1987, and Father Terence Moore, currently pastor of Saint John the Baptist.

"In fact, I am a convert to the church," said Jeff. "When Fr. Moore came to the Newman Center before it was Saint Catherine’s, I said I like this Irishman. If an Irishman makes you into a Catholic, then you are a real Catholic. I was baptized Nov. 7, 1974, on our fourth wedding anniversary, the day before we went on our marriage encounter. We renewed our wedding vows that day, and again over the weekend.

"The best thing was we learned how to communicate so that we did not have unspoken stress building up between us," said Jeff. "We were able to talk to each other in a different way without being judgmental. We would focus on the core relationship, which is our mutual love for each other. You do not let mundane things of the world erode your marriage relationship."

While Jeff was working for the County Sheriff’s Office, he kept a packet of Marriage Encounter love cards. Every so often he would think of Linda and take a moment to focus on her, write her a card that said he was thinking of her. He would thank her, tell her he loved her, and mail the card. Then out of the blue, for no particular reason, Linda would receive a love note.

"Being in police work as a crime scene investigator, you never know what was going to happen," said Jeff. "At least I knew, she knew I loved her and was thinking of her."

Linda still has the cards Jeff sent her and saves them in a box. Prior to Marriage Encounter, Jeff made Linda cards because he was a graphic designer.

"Through Marriage Encounter, it kept the spirit alive you have when you first get married," said Linda. "It kept the honeymoon going.

"We made friends with other Marriage Encounter couples, and at times, we would talk about relationships," said Jeff. "Marriage Encounter increased our circle of Catholic friends throughout our lives."

The Itamis have two daughters, Zoe Laure Kara Itami, and Suzanne Lisa Rose Kimberly Haruko Itami. They have three grandchildren, Adrienne Rose, Lachlan Eugene, and Donovan Leo. Family is very important to the Itami family.