'Oh, my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended you'

Friday, Mar. 13, 2015

The Sacrament of Reconciliation comforts me.

This wasn’t always the case. When I was introduced to the sacrament yea these many years past, we called it “Confession,” and that was how I approached it. I was a guilty child completing a chore assigned by my religion. I felt no sense of grace either in the confessional or emerging from it.

As a young adult, my focus was on penance, which is another common name for the sacrament. My attitude was that I was rightly being punished for the sins I had committed and confessed.

I don’t know when I began to receive comfort from this sacrament. I suspect my attitude altered gradually; I wasn’t really aware of the change until two years ago, when Pope Francis said the confessional isn’t a torture chamber but is rather “the place in which the Lord’s mercy motivates us to do better.”

I laughed at that, because while “torture chamber” may be too violent a description of how I used to feel about the confessional, it certainly wasn’t far off the mark. Now, though, I approach the Sacrament of Reconciliation as a sinner, yes, but I also feel that through God’s mercy this sacrament nurtures what little grace I have and perhaps even allows it to grow.

When I began investigating this aspect of the faith, several resources almost immediately came to hand: one was recommended by a priest during a homily, and the title of a second jumped out at me while I was perusing a bookstore shelf.

The Untapped Power of the Sacrament of Penance: A Priest’s View by Father Christopher J. Walsh, describes the sacrament “as sort of a portable lamp, shining the rays of God’s healing and grace into the spiritual darkness of the soul.”

Fr. Walsh takes a pastoral approach in an eminently readable fashion while covering many aspects of the sacrament that modern Catholics may need to brush up on. For example, the third chapter of his book is titled “Popular Reasons for Avoiding Confession (and Why They are Wrong).”

For me, the most thought-provoking part of his book was a small section on habitual vices – “the attractive sins, the addictive sins” such as greed, envy and anger. “[O]n a certain level we like these sins,” Fr. Walsh writes, but “like all addictions, if we discover too late how much harm they are doing to us, then we realize to our alarm how powerless we are to rid ourselves of them.”

What? How dare he so blatantly state that I like turning my face from God? Not until my indignation faded did I realize to my shame that he’s right. Anger, for example, gives me power to do what I ought not, and I justify my actions by a self-righteousness that doesn’t appears when I am less emotional.

With 7 Secrets of Confession, Vinny Flynn introduced me to Saint Faustina’s diary, which is now on my reading list. She wrote much about confession, which she said is about healing, not just forgiveness. Flynn quotes extensively from the diary, in which St. Faustina recorded the words Jesus spoke to her. One of my favorite quotes: “When you approach the confessional, know this, that I Myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I Myself act in your soul.” 

There in the confessional, Christ offers God’s mercy and, receiving it, I feel again worthy to be his child. As Pope Francis said, Confession is not a time for judgment, but for an encounter with the merciful God who is always ready to forgive those who seek pardon.

Amen.