Sense of humor and good night kisses for a lasting marriage

Intermountain Catholic

+ Enlarge

Ed and Linda McCaffrey walk down the aisle. Ed said the wedding was ?a big deal? for their families. ?We were both the oldest,? he said. IC photos courtesy of Ed and Linda McCaffrey

SANDY — "She looked good in a swimming suit," said then lifeguard, Ed McCaffrey. And this was a compelling reason to approach Linda and ask her out. "I was with my nine year-old brother, who was building a sand castle; and Ed came and said ‘You know he’s going to have to put that sand back when he’s done.’ It was cute," she said after hesitating to share his pick-up line.

The sweet sixteen couple had its first date at a fair. That is after he asked her mom for approval. "She was Italian," Linda explained.

They continued to date through high school and maintained a long-distance relationship through college when they both parted from New York. She went to Boston, while he went to South Dakota.

"We would talk two to three times a week and he would visit me in the summer," said Linda. "I even did a term paper for him and had to mail it," she added.

So, he decided to pop the big question over the phone. "It didn’t surprise me because we had already talked about it," said Linda.

Both their families were thrilled with the nuptial news. "It was a big deal. We were both the oldest. She and her mom were shopping for the dress a couple of days after I proposed. Her mom chose the dress and took over," said Ed.

The wedding was in New York, very big and traditional. "It was long. We had an hour-and-a-half Mass," said Linda. "We partied hard," said Ed. "And you could see the difference between her Italian family on one side of the room and my Irish family on the other."

It was the sixties and Ed was drafted to work for NATO during the Vietnam War. His job forced the young couple to change its residency. After they got married, they moved to Southern Carolina for ten months. Then they moved to Turkey and lived there for over two years. Their only son, E.J. was born there.

"It was really fun. We didn’t live at an army base, so we tried to learn the language. Everyone treated us very well. We traveled a lot," said Linda. "At some point, she was fluent in Spanish and Turkish," said Ed proudly.

After coming back to the U.S. and living in Oklahoma for five years, the McCaffreys moved to Utah in 1991. "We lived all over and adapted. But it was hard here," said Ed. "We were used to a lot of diversity," added Linda.

The McCaffreys shared that similar backgrounds and common interests have been key to their 40 years of marriage. "She likes ballet. I golf. But sometimes I go to the ballet with her," he said.

"And, he has a great sense of humor. We can’t take ourselves or each other too seriously," said Linda.

They also have a special way to resolve their differences. "We kiss before we go to bed, even if we’re mad at each other," she said. "And I’m usually wrong," said Ed.

Ed and Linda plan on staying in Utah as long as their son and family stay. For the meantime, they are making changes and plans. "We are downsizing," said Ed pointing at the ‘For Sale’ sign in front of their house. "I would like to take our son to Turkey, where he was born; and I’d love to go to Italy. We’ll travel until we’re too old," said Linda.