Welcoming the stranger

Friday, Apr. 24, 2015

Last weekend I attended the presentation by Patrick Madrid at Blessed Sacrament Catholic Church. My mother is a parishioner there, so throughout the day a number of her friends greeted me, and I enjoyed talking and laughing with them as well as some of my friends who also attended the event.

I mention this because just a few weeks ago I experienced the exact opposite of this fellowship. I can’t give details without wagging an accusatory finger, so suffice to say that for several days afterward I wondered why I even want to belong to a church that is so unwelcoming.

The contrast between these two experiences got me thinking about the Catholic Church’s call to welcome the stranger. This dictum is written in the Old Testament and echoed by Jesus and Pope Francis and a whole bunch of authority figures in between. Unfortunately, this is a mandate of which we Catholics often fall far short of the mark, at least in my experience.

I’ve moved around quite a bit in my life, and many times when I’ve tried to get involved in my new parish I’ve been snubbed in ways that make me completely unwilling to go to church for anything other than sacraments I am mandated to receive. 

Just so you understand where I’m coming from, let me describe one of the numerous negative encounters I have had. Long ago in a diocese far away, I attended a retreat at which people were seated according to their parish. When I arrived, only a single seat was left at my parish’s table. I went up, introduced myself (I was new, after all) and asked if I could sit down. The response was, “No. We’re saving this chair for so-and-so.” Then those seated there turned back to their conversation, ignoring me.

If I hadn’t already paid for the entire weekend, I would have walked out. As it was, I found a place at another table, but I never did do anything at that parish except go to Sunday Mass.

In sharing such experiences with friends throughout the years, I find that this sort of reception is far from uncommon in Catholic parishes, and I wonder how we can possibly be expected to welcome the stranger who looks and speaks and acts so different from us when we don’t even give each other a civil greeting, if not a warm one.

I say “we” because I confess that even though I try my best, I sometimes fail in this regard. Last weekend, for instance, when I got up to take photos of Patrick Madrid, I noticed a woman I didn’t know sitting all by herself in the very last pew. I wanted to invite her to move closer, if she wished, but she seemed to be listening to his presentation, so I was hesitant to interrupt her.

When we broke for lunch, I didn’t see her, but I told myself to check where she was when we came back for the afternoon session. Except I forgot. After we started again, I did see her, seated in the same spot, alone in that same corner, but by then it was too late to speak to her. All I could do was hope that someone else offered her the welcome that I neglected to extend.

If no one did, I pray that she is more forgiving than I tend to be, and that she returns. I would like her to experience the same welcome that I did: a friendly greeting and the Christian fellowship that everyone deserves to share in when they enter the doors of the Church.